Topic Introduction
Being a servant in leadership involves biblical stewardship. We’re called as God’s stewards to manage that which belongs to God. Stewardship for ministry leaders involves managing and administrating, acting on God’s behalf, according to His desires and purposes.
Servanthood endeavors to serve others by serving Christ.
Some of us have the sad story of experiencing abuse from our flock, as they took advantage of our open willingness to serve and expected their version of what that should mean. Other stories we have heard are of abuse from the leadership above us in the pastorate who misused their authority to control us.
Colossians 3:23-24 (NKJV)
23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.
Your Turn: Give us Your Story!
Anonymously respond to these questions in the “Leave a Reply” box at the very bottom of this page.
Pick one, or all of these (or come up with your own) and go with it! In your story you may want to talk about:
- Your first experience of the abuse of your servanthood
- How did it affect your husband? How did it affect you? How did it affect your family?
- Your advice for lovingly and courageously determining reasonable and appropriate boundaries and establishing limits.
- Did you experience Victory as you learned to re-define the meaning of being a Servant for God?
Don’t forget, here’s how this works…
Each month a topic will be presented. I will give an introduction and an invitation to all of you who would like to respond to the topic. Ask questions. Tell your story. A little bit of crying and bellyaching is allowed, however, there will be limitations. Our goal is to find each other through our discussion of our shared experiences and to encourage each other. God will be with us!
Respond to the topic in the “Leave a Reply” box at the very bottom of the this page.
- Be sure to use only your initials in the section where it asks for first and last name, or give a pseudo-name to keep your identity private.
- Please, don’t give actual names of people or places as you tell your story. Protect. Protect. Protect.
It may be necessary for some editing of your submission to present a concise version. I will work (and pray) through your comment/response and then post both what you contributed and my own comment or response, as well as interaction from “the Sisterhood” I have received concerning it. Nearing the end of each month, I will inform you of the next month’s topic, to give the opportunity for you to prepare.
How did it (abuse of servanthood) affect your husband? How did it affect you? How did it affect your family?
My husband lives and breathes the word “forbearance” and I believe he should have said; “sorry, but No” much more than he did.
I’m not proud to admit that there was resentment on my part when he so many times gave up promised family time and even obligations to us, to serve that parishioner.
Here’s some Bible verses that explain things well
1 Thessalonians 5:12 ESV
We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.
2 Chronicles 31:4-10 ESV
And he commanded the people who lived in Jerusalem to give the portion due to the priests and the Levites, that they might give themselves to the Law of the Lord.
Did you experience Victory as you learned to re-define the meaning of being a Servant for God?
We had been called to serve, and we loved serving. Our love for our church and desire to serve them was obvious.
I believe that, (and my husband eventually did too) it was up to us to teach our flock that it was OK for us to say “no” sometimes, for our own sakes and that forbearance is actually about having mature patience for the purpose of understanding God’s appropriate timing and control. It doesn’t mean that the servant always has to give in and surrender all his personal time and space.
These considerations were what we needed, in order for us to be able to serve with grateful, willing hearts.
Hebrews 13:17 ESV
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Thank you M.S.A. for your words of insight and for sharing God’s words to live and serve by.
Melinda
• Your first experience of the abuse of your servanthood
Before my husband was ordained, we worked together as a husband/wife music ministry team. We spent 6 years working in a parish with a wonderful priest who really valued our work. When he left to take another call, we remained on the staff as we transitioned to new leadership. Once the new priest came, we had our first experience of abuse from our “boss”. It seemed like our new rector was angry with us right from the start. I think he may have been jealous because the congregation knew us well, and loved us.
During the next 3 years he took away our health coverage, made my husband’s position 1/2 time instead of full time, and yelled at us numerous times, including using the “F” word.
As time went on, other members of the parish began sharing instances of being yelled at, or intimidated by the priest, and an unrest and distrust began permeating our church.
We were very careful not to talk about our experiences because our priest was constantly threatening to fire us if we ever spoke about anything that had happened. When things got really bad, we began to receive registered letters in the mail stating that we were going to be dismissed by a certain date, but that date would come and go, and then another letter would be delivered with a new termination date. Things kept brewing until finally, the priest announced that he was retiring.
♣ Did you experience Victory as you learned to re-define the meaning of being a Servant for God?
It was an extremely difficult time, but we weathered the storm! We learned to trust and love God even more.
Over a number of years, my husband continued his part-time seminary study while continuing to serve part-time at the same church and when he finished seminary and was ordained, we moved away to serve in my husbands first call as pastor/ priest, 1/2 time positions in two separate congregations and denominations.
I believe I am finally getting used to my new role as a pastor’s wife! God is good, and there have been many blessings and challenges along the way!
Thank you Robby, for sharing your story with us. You served God, even in the midst of and under the control of one who served his position in an incorrect and ungodly manner. Your faithfulness has exemplified a true servant’s heart.
May God continue to bless you as you continue to look to Him for your reward!
Thank you, Melinda,
Your work has been very encouraging to me, and I am grateful! I feel I have finally turned a corner in this transition from being a music team with my husband, to being a supportive partner In his ministry. God has transformed my jealousy and resentment into faith and love!
I really enjoyed reading the story and I love God a lot and I’m truly appreciated of everything the man above has done for me and I will continue listening to his stories