Anxiety reduction help

Anxiety is a common emotion experienced by most people in their lives

It was HELL!

 It started with me feeling like I was in hell.  I can tell you exactly when it started: July 3, 2020 at around 3:00 am.  I had gotten up to do my usual bathroom trip and, as I was falling back asleep, my mind was drifting onto various thoughts and past events.  Suddenly I was fully awake in utter terror, feeling like I was alone, unloved and completely unable to make personal contact with anyone.

In a chair having a series of panic attacks

In my distress, I woke my wife up and tried to explain what was happening.  She was freaked out of course.  So she opened her Bible on the nightstand and began reading Psalms and praying aloud. This was not sleep paralysis.  The whole time I was fully aware of what she was saying and doing.  When she turned on the light, I could see, I could hear, I could talk, I could move around.  As the scripture began to sink in deeper and deeper, she finally got me calmed down.  I went back into a fitful sleep for a few hours, but was up before sunrise sitting in a chair having a series of panic attacks.  These attacks went on sporadically for days afterward. 

It was a terrifying experience

This just wasn’t me.  I had never had a terrifying experience like that before.  I had never had a panic attack in my life.  I was 66 years old at the time and in pretty good health, but from that day onward my health deteriorated dramatically.  Since then—for the past two and a half years, I have suffered a series of physical problems that doctors can’t identify.  Mentally, and emotionally I have felt fatigue, depression, hopelessness, and at times, spiritual darkness.  There have been days when I wondered if living was even worth it—and this from a guy with a beautiful wife, great kids, delightful grandchildren, a fulfilling job, amazing friends and exciting future possibilities.  Yes, I had been under stress, but it didn’t seem like the usual slide into a nervous breakdown you hear about.  It was instantaneous, dramatic and horrifying.  If I had a mortal enemy, I wouldn’t wish that experience on them.

That’s what it felt like for me.  Your anxiety, depression –or however you describe it– may be different.  Your struggle may be short-lived, or like mine, it may go on for years.  The causes for why we suffer anxiety may be different: spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, relational.  All I can say is that you can’t give up.